Ask the EP Supporting the Development of Self-Esteem in Children

The importance of Self-Esteem 

The way we see ourselves is crucial to the way we interact with the world around us. ‘Self Esteem’ can be thought of as the way we evaluate our own self-worth, with higher self-esteem leading to greater confidence, resilience and emotional regulation. Our sense of self-esteem then, is the thoughts and feelings we have about our self; these are shaped by our experiences and can therefore, be impacted through the use of interventions and targeted activities.

Children with high levels of self-esteem are more likely to try new things and have a positive outlook on life. So, fostering high senses of self-esteem in children is crucial to give them the self-confidence to overcome challenges they will face. High levels of self-esteem not only safeguards mental health, it facilitates learning as it encourages judicious risk taking and learning through mistakes. Self-esteem levels in childhood are often observed to impact people throughout adolescence and adulthood, highlighting why it is so essential to form a strong foundations for positive self esteem early on in life.

Building Self-Esteem: Positive Reflection

The first way to encourage the development of self-esteem is to support children in identifying their own strengths and previous achievements. Recognising strengths and past achievements enables us to fall back on them when we doubt our skills and abilities needed to overcome a challenge. By acknowledging past achievements, we feel good about ourselves and have the confidence that we can overcome whatever hurdle is in our way.

This ‘strengths-based approach’, supports children to develop an outlook where the focus is on opportunities, rather than threats.  By equipping children with this bank of personal strengths, we are enabling them to solve problems, rather than get stuck ruminating on them.

To recognise an individual’s strength is relatively easy; getting the individual to really believe in their strength is the challenge. There are several ways you can do this, the first being initiated by a classroom discussion, to identify the many strengths people can have. It is important that the class collectively explore a wide range of strengths and competencies, such as social, emotional, mental and physical skills. Having a wide range of strengths identified as a group can reduce internal feelings of comparison and avoid ‘compare and despair’, which can negatively affect self-esteem levels.

Identifying a wide range of strengths increases the chances of children being able to associate themselves with at least one identified strength without support. To encourage children to really ‘buy in’ to and own their strengths, we would ask them to identify their own personal top 5 from the list created by the class, though we should be aware that some children may need support to do this. This level of self-reflection allows children to identify what they are particularly good at, which can lead to increased levels of self-esteem.

The more frequently children reflect on their strengths, the more those strengths can become fixed, and form a solid part of their self-concept (i.e., their sense of who they are). Interventions aiming to improve self-esteem should therefore be conducted more regularly and for shorter periods of time, rather than infrequently and for lengthy periods, (i.e. 1 x 60-minute session is less effective than 6 x 10-minute sessions for establishing lasting change).

Building Self-Esteem: Mastery Experiences

When we consciously master a new skill, this provides us with tangible evidence that we can learn new things through practice, even if they are initially challenging. This is direct, first-hand experience of achievement and success which can be referred back to when facing new challenges, giving children confidence to learn new skills.  When working with children, it is important to make time and provide opportunities for children to learn new skills, through both inspiring them to take on new challenges, and to facilitate the opportunity to master something new. 

Inspiration to learn something new can come from group or class discussions, identifying all the opportunities that children have to learn a new skill. This can be achieved through joining clubs such as football, drawing groups, or learning an independent skill such as card tricks or playing an instrument. Professionals working in education can facilitate mastery of independent skills by providing designated time for children to learn a new skill and provide the child time to share and teach their new skill to peers, a large boost to self-esteem. This can also positively reinforce a child’s work ethic, as they again have the opportunity to learn first-hand that hard work can lead to positive achievements.

Building Self-Esteem: Journaling

Journaling is the simple act of recording thoughts and experiences, either of day to day life or around particular aspects of one’s life or experience.  Journaling several times a week can encourage children to be reflective and identify positive qualities they may have. Journaling encourages children to be optimistic, and means they are likely to see new challenges with a positive outlook. Journaling can boost children’s self-esteem by encouraging them to focus on positive experiences, and achievements they have had in their day.

Our experiences of children completing journaling exercises with their parents has shown us just how rich and bonding these experiences can be for parents and children. We have also seen some fantastically innovative uses of voice and video recording in journaling to make the experience more accessible and motivating for all those involved.

Overall, a positive self-esteem is essential to make children know how brilliant they are. Resources in the RISE programme are available to support students to identify their strengths. These include conversation starter cards and strength shields. Let us know if you notice positive self-esteem changes in children you try these resources with!

Practical Strategies to Develop your Child's Self-Esteem can also be accessed (amongst a range of other resources and bite sized videos) on the EdPsychEd Parent Hub here.